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Lose Me Already

I wish I knew
Just how to stay distant from u

I wish me losing u would have facilitated u losing me too

So lose me already I won’t be offended

 

I wish I was persistent
In avoiding ur consistence

I wish u wouldn’t always look me up…
Amazed how u find me successfully

 

Guess u got good luck
Guess u really didn’t wana just f***

Bet u miss my wide bright smile more than my widened bright butt

And we both know that ain’t a front

 

Bet u don’t see yourself as a has-been

Knowing u should’ve been more active

 

Way back then when u had all my time
You was the only man on my mind

You was the only one that had 5 on my dime

I wish I wasn’t so dope
I wish u could get me out of ur system

 

Like why am I so addictive
Like why do u constantly envision me in this life that ur living

 

I was pushed in another direction

Wasn’t given the choice of walking away is what I’m stressing

 

So if I was worth all these energies and stalking’s

Jonathan why we stop talking!?

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Laverne River

If u missing ur son is measured in a metric system

To ur pound im sure he misses u a ton

But he wants u to enjoy the life u have left smile and have fun

Its true

No one river streams more waters that flows from ur eyes to ur nose

And thats ok but let ur days be filled with more laughter than sorrow

Let ur days be Filled with the memories that his presence has borrowed

To us

If u have cried for 2 years its because his spirit has discerned without fear

And he is right here mom speaking to u with my fingers while my mind unknowingly lingers … where these words are coming from

I’m now stuck with a visual of Laverne’s river

Please dont drown, me Danny and Tay need u around

 

Strength is Numbing

They say only the strong survive but I see the strong die off after a lifetime of pain in order to maintain.

They say we learn thru pain so my destiny must’ve fixated me on a window pane.  60 stories high where the violent winds absorb my cries. Where my steps are unaccompanied confined straight lines and my innate behaviors reflect my state of mind; elevated.

They say abandoning emotion at a young age prevents growth, but you must let some things go to cope.  Emotion being the node, or so I say.  Entering a precarious numb state will escape the pressures and expectations their families and loved ones have placed.

They insinuate that emotion shows a sign of weakness.  You don’t see the strong as they are, you won’t recognize their flaws.  All you see is tough skin and togetherness, just admit, you only see what you’re looking for.  So your eyes create lies and you miss what’s within-yet you call yourself a friend and that’s unfortunate.

I am pleased to say that being strong has got me thru my most rancid of days.  Time that led up to those days was consumed of numbing life’s pain.  Pain points immersed to a level of functionality where people depended on the more vibrant side of me.  People, not exactly meaning friends, but people with whom I have relationships.  It is they that look and can’t see, it is they that smell but can’t breathe.  It is they that I love from a distance but don’t bring them “they” around me.

you make me WILD but not in that order

L.

Lose me every time i glance

yearning for the smell of morning dew

after romance

W.

Win me at any moment i blink

quite similar to the life i live with you

that came to life in my sleep

D.

Dissuade me, never mind my mind

its’ infantile

misguiding my journey

from encyclopedias and chapter books to nursery rhymes

long naps and mishaps on a path to find you

I.

Influence me the instance we meet

like whenever you speak but your lips don’t move

’cause all words lose meaning

then i find myself daydreaming

the tomorrows are just like today

the same puzzle but pieced together different ways that make me one way W.I.L.D.

I don’t know you

I know now who you pretend to be
Which is why I don’t know who you really are
How can I know you
When you hide who you are
The mask you wear is worn
Tapered. I see tears…
Invisibly formed.
Falling down your face
So I can’t see behind your eyes
This person you hide
May in fact be better than who shows on the outside
You lie. You’ve lied so long…
Even you got lost with this facade.
And you know what they say
One white lie today only leads to more lies in preceding day
Lies that Blacken out the transparency
Of your being and who you really are
Darkens the light I’ve seen shining from afar
When we were eleven, so somethin’ went wrong
Blackened the vibrant flicker that now lingers
As a dimmer
Results of all the liquor
You intake. I can’t take…
No more of thinking I know you.
The surprise of yet another side of who you are hiding inside
Occurs too often so I say
Hello there stranger
And goodbye to my friend that died off
Somewhere far and between age eleven and the present.
If I can EVER be forwarded the opportunity to acquaint the man
Inhibiting that young man I once met
Please look me up on the internet or some other method ~ just
Be sure to bring him to me once more
One condition pending; that he’s sober of course!

Abundantly Much

There’s so much to do
So much to see
There’s so much to eat
So many people we never meet

There’s so much to read
So much more to say

hour glass
So many words to write
And so many games we play

There’s so much to aspire to
So much room for personal growth
Yet so many excuses
When there’s always so much more to know

There’s so much work
Only so many things accomplished
Leaving so much unfinished business
We so often can’t get done regardless

There’s so many successes
Evolving from many of failures
There’s so many doctors
But so many more ailments

There’s so many role models
And so many religious beliefs
We have so many choices
So many different ways to find peace

There are so many things to wear
So many styles with infinite color
So much personality to share
And so many blemishes we conceal

There was only one beginning
But so many ways it can be ended
And so much brevity we are given
Before limitations-we can only do so much living