Strength is Numbing

They say only the strong survive but I see the strong die off after a lifetime of pain in order to maintain.

They say we learn thru pain so my destiny must’ve fixated me on a window pane.  60 stories high where the violent winds absorb my cries. Where my steps are unaccompanied confined straight lines and my innate behaviors reflect my state of mind; elevated.

They say abandoning emotion at a young age prevents growth, but you must let some things go to cope.  Emotion being the node, or so I say.  Entering a precarious numb state will escape the pressures and expectations their families and loved ones have placed.

They insinuate that emotion shows a sign of weakness.  You don’t see the strong as they are, you won’t recognize their flaws.  All you see is tough skin and togetherness, just admit, you only see what you’re looking for.  So your eyes create lies and you miss what’s within-yet you call yourself a friend and that’s unfortunate.

I am pleased to say that being strong has got me thru my most rancid of days.  Time that led up to those days was consumed of numbing life’s pain.  Pain points immersed to a level of functionality where people depended on the more vibrant side of me.  People, not exactly meaning friends, but people with whom I have relationships.  It is they that look and can’t see, it is they that smell but can’t breathe.  It is they that I love from a distance but don’t bring them “they” around me.

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5 thoughts on “Strength is Numbing

  1. Reblogged this on lovewanderingfree and commented:
    I can relate so much to this. I told my friends about my decision to drop out of college, after I had already signed the papers. Many of my friends responded with shock and statements similar to “what happened?” and “I didn’t know you had stuff going on. You were always happy.” Pain is there. It just shows up in different ways.

    Like

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